Here is a little excerpt from an interesting article, written by Vijayalakshmi Pandit (one of Jawaharlal Nehru's sisters) in 1955, that I found in the Reader's Digest of November 2006.
' The best advice I ever had came from one of the greatest souls the world has ever known - Mahatma Gandhi - on a sunny afternoon a decade ago. Most people pass through a period of anguish when their belief in humanity is at a low ebb. I was in such a period. My husband had recently died. My deep sorrow over his loss was followed by the humiliating realization that in the eyes of Indian law I had no individual existence. Along with other Indian women I participated for years with men in the national struggle for freedom, working and suffering side by side with them until it had finally been achieved - yet in law we women were still recognized only through our relationship to men.
Now as a widow without a son, I was not entitled to any share of the family property, nor were my two daughters. I resented this galling position. I was bitter towards those members of my family who supported this antiquated law.
At this time I went to pay my respects to Gandhiji and say good-bye before leaving for America to take part in a conference. After our talk he asked, "Have you made peace with your relatives?"
I was amazed that he would take sides against me. "I have not quarrelled with anyone," I replied, "but I refuse to have anything to do with those who take advantage of an outworn law to create a difficult and humiliating situation for me."
Gandhiji looked out of the window for a moment. Then he turned to me and smiled and said, "You will go and say good-bye because courtesy and decency demand this. In India, we still attach importance to these things."
"No," I declared, "not even to please you will I go to those who wish to harm me."
"No one can harm you except yourself," he said, still smiling. "I see enough bitterness in your heart to cause you injury unless you check it." I remained silent, and he continued: "You are going to a new country because you are unhappy and want to escape. Can you escape from yourself? Will you find happiness outside when there is bitterness in your heart? Think it over. Be a little humble. You have lost a loved one - that is sorrow enough. Must you inflict further injury on yourself because you lack courage to cleanse your own heart?" '
I was wondering when I read this article, that those letters in blue above is so typical of my attitude in general. And the gist of the advice from Gandhiji matches so well with what we read from The Holy Bible (Old Testament, Leviticus 19:17-18), "You must not hate your fellow citizen in your heart. If your neighbour does something wrong tell him about it, or you will be partly to blame. Forget about the wrong things people do to you, and do not try to get even. Love your neighbour as you love yourself. I am the LORD."
And again, Jesus says in the New Testament (Mathew 5:43-48), "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemies.' But I say to you, love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you. If you do this, you will be true children of your Father in heaven. He causes the sun to rise on good people and on evil people, and he sends rain to those who do right and to those who do wrong. If you love only the people who love you, you will get no reward. Even the tax collectors do that. And if you are nice only to your friends, you are no better than other people. Even those who don't know God are nice to their friends. So you must be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."
Monday, November 27, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
WHO Life Skills, 1993
1. The ability to make decisions helps students assess their options and carefully consider the different consequences that can result from their choices.
2. The ability to solve problems helps students find constructive solutions to their problems. This skill can significantly reduce anxiety.
3. The capacity to think creatively is essential to decision making and problem solving. It enables students to explore all possible alternatives together with their consequences. It helps students look beyond their personal experience.
4. The capacity to think critically helps students objectively analyze available information along with their own experiences. It is this ability that helps students recognize the factors that influence their behavior, such as societal values, peer influence, and influence of the mass media.
5. The ability to communicate effectively helps students to express their feelings, needs, and ideas to others—verbally or otherwise.
6. The ability to establish and maintain interpersonal relations helps students to interact positively with people whom they encounter daily, especially family members.
7. Knowledge of self is the capacity of students to know who they are, what they want and do not want, and what does and does not please them. It also helps students recognize stressful situations.
8. The capacity to feel empathy is the ability to imagine what life is like for another person in a very different situation. It helps students to understand and accept diversity, and it improves interpersonal relations between diverse individuals.
9. The ability to handle emotions enables students to recognize their emotions and how they influence their behavior. It is especially important to learn how to handle difficult emotions such as violence and anger, which can negatively influence health.
10. The ability to handle tension and stress is a simple recognition by students of the things in life causing them stress.
2. The ability to solve problems helps students find constructive solutions to their problems. This skill can significantly reduce anxiety.
3. The capacity to think creatively is essential to decision making and problem solving. It enables students to explore all possible alternatives together with their consequences. It helps students look beyond their personal experience.
4. The capacity to think critically helps students objectively analyze available information along with their own experiences. It is this ability that helps students recognize the factors that influence their behavior, such as societal values, peer influence, and influence of the mass media.
5. The ability to communicate effectively helps students to express their feelings, needs, and ideas to others—verbally or otherwise.
6. The ability to establish and maintain interpersonal relations helps students to interact positively with people whom they encounter daily, especially family members.
7. Knowledge of self is the capacity of students to know who they are, what they want and do not want, and what does and does not please them. It also helps students recognize stressful situations.
8. The capacity to feel empathy is the ability to imagine what life is like for another person in a very different situation. It helps students to understand and accept diversity, and it improves interpersonal relations between diverse individuals.
9. The ability to handle emotions enables students to recognize their emotions and how they influence their behavior. It is especially important to learn how to handle difficult emotions such as violence and anger, which can negatively influence health.
10. The ability to handle tension and stress is a simple recognition by students of the things in life causing them stress.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Introspection
A nice little word... The Oxford Genie reads us the meaning of the word as thus; "A careful examination of our own thoughts, feelings and reasons for behaving in a particular way".
Type I: Some (or is it Most?!) go about life as if it were a roller coaster ride in some magnificent fun park that borders hell and heaven. Quite a few people out there were blessed with a family that bubbled with fun and frolic in their kiddy days... especially those with a couple of brothers and/or sisters. And then because of their in-built extroverted nature (seasoned by the familial culture) really bonds with the people outside, and in their teens with the huge collection of friends, they never find themselves at a loss for ideas to keep life exciting. ..and then sooner than later they find a partner or (if lucky) get married off to an eligible parental find. ..then comes the exploration of new found love, the babies, the jugglery sessions (kids, career, husband/wife, parents, society)!! Now did I hear the I-word in between.. Guess Never.. They never had to...
Type II: And there are some who never had it so good ('good' in a rather conventional sense!). People by an act of fate had solitude as their best companion more often than not. With it comes the excessive obsession for the inquistiveness... Some divert that urge over the outside physical world (as in Why the apple always need to fall down questions!!), others get trapped in probing within themselves (Why do I do what I do?!).. For the latter, it feels more like the head biting its own tail.. tremendous amount of energy diverted into oneself... mind always on turmoil, trying to catch itself in the act and to pin it down thread-bare; a narcissistic trap!!
It is widely accepted that neither of the above two types symbolise a way of life.. Type I moves on unmindful of what runs their life and Type II moves always wondering why he/she is being made to run this-way/that-way in life. Type 1 definitely should be leading a less stressful life, unless one day (if at all that happens; say maybe in the older age?!) the life suddenly decides to stop pushing, and he/she has to make the moves by themselves (maybe a situation to explain one's existence and the worth of the lived life and probably even the current direction?!) ... and the Type II as he/she is always bent on answers, would have definitely become a master of the boat as time moves, but may end up wondering what was all that for; afterall a trained captain (Him or probably the auto-mechanism He has installed in this life!?!) was anyways available in the ship called life?!! Ha... alas... Is really a mid path between the above two personalities the real answer, as the umpteen self-help authors would vouch for so vociferously?! Or is it more of a matter of choice, something that suits the deeper urges of an individual (again a product of one's circumstances or is it an outcome of the so-popular celestial juxtaposition at the time of birth?!) ?!
Well, here I wait for time to tell...
Type I: Some (or is it Most?!) go about life as if it were a roller coaster ride in some magnificent fun park that borders hell and heaven. Quite a few people out there were blessed with a family that bubbled with fun and frolic in their kiddy days... especially those with a couple of brothers and/or sisters. And then because of their in-built extroverted nature (seasoned by the familial culture) really bonds with the people outside, and in their teens with the huge collection of friends, they never find themselves at a loss for ideas to keep life exciting. ..and then sooner than later they find a partner or (if lucky) get married off to an eligible parental find. ..then comes the exploration of new found love, the babies, the jugglery sessions (kids, career, husband/wife, parents, society)!! Now did I hear the I-word in between.. Guess Never.. They never had to...
Type II: And there are some who never had it so good ('good' in a rather conventional sense!). People by an act of fate had solitude as their best companion more often than not. With it comes the excessive obsession for the inquistiveness... Some divert that urge over the outside physical world (as in Why the apple always need to fall down questions!!), others get trapped in probing within themselves (Why do I do what I do?!).. For the latter, it feels more like the head biting its own tail.. tremendous amount of energy diverted into oneself... mind always on turmoil, trying to catch itself in the act and to pin it down thread-bare; a narcissistic trap!!
It is widely accepted that neither of the above two types symbolise a way of life.. Type I moves on unmindful of what runs their life and Type II moves always wondering why he/she is being made to run this-way/that-way in life. Type 1 definitely should be leading a less stressful life, unless one day (if at all that happens; say maybe in the older age?!) the life suddenly decides to stop pushing, and he/she has to make the moves by themselves (maybe a situation to explain one's existence and the worth of the lived life and probably even the current direction?!) ... and the Type II as he/she is always bent on answers, would have definitely become a master of the boat as time moves, but may end up wondering what was all that for; afterall a trained captain (Him or probably the auto-mechanism He has installed in this life!?!) was anyways available in the ship called life?!! Ha... alas... Is really a mid path between the above two personalities the real answer, as the umpteen self-help authors would vouch for so vociferously?! Or is it more of a matter of choice, something that suits the deeper urges of an individual (again a product of one's circumstances or is it an outcome of the so-popular celestial juxtaposition at the time of birth?!) ?!
Well, here I wait for time to tell...
Friday, November 03, 2006
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Wake Up!!
Its amusing how few a people realise the preciousness of time. Take for example this new age craze to stay hooked to the ever-so-growing online communities. So many people tied up in a maze of virtual handshakes; caught in a true maze of make-believe life; a sad but catastrophic path for the new generation!! Life ebbs on the edges of the keyboard and clicks... people stay fettered by the tragic seduction of probing the past through long lost faces... time leaks out of the ever-so-shrinking life of ours!! Wake Up Guys 'n Gals, Wake Up!!
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